One of the first things that I’ve noticed upon settling here in the Philippines ten years ago is the widespread use of “ma’am” and “sir”, or even “mamsir”. As you go inside the shopping mall, salespeople of different sorts try to get your attention by using these honorifics to get your attention. When I went to college, it was common to refer to your professor as “sir” or “ma’am” rather than a Mr., Ms., or Mrs. Everywhere you go here, from security guards, airport porters and taxi drivers to fancy solicitors and beggars on the street, they’d call me the tagalized “ser”. Sometimes, I’d get a little upset when the food delivery guy would text me and refer to me as “mam”. Can’t they tell that my name is a guy’s name?
It was during my days as an intern during my college years when I discovered more of what the significance of this mamsir bullshit has. Using mam or sir brings you to a state of being indentured, thus there was this instance where I was power-tripped by a certain employee during my stay. It was like being in bootcamp. The one being referred to as sir or ma’am would often have pumped-up egos and think that they know every aspect of every little thing. This disregards the fact that even in a corporate environment, learning goes both ways. This is why I swore to myself that if I ever come into a position of authority in a company, I’d mandatorily ban the use of ma’am and sir… and I did a few years later.
The point of this mamsir thing is that whenever you use that, you bring yourself to a state of servitude towards the one that you are referring to. It isn’t mutual respect. That’s what sucks about most Asian cultures anyways; respect goes in one-way only. It should be always be mutual, even if you’re paying the person or vice-versa. It should also be the same way regardless of age. It’s enough for the younger person to accept all guidance and advice from the eldest, but not to the point of total obedience.
There are exceptions though to this rule of mine. Whenever someone calls me sir by email, yeah I usually use sir or ma’am back. When he loses it, I lose it too. That’s always a general rule and if I ever get drafted into the military, then that’s the only time that I’d refer to anyone above my rank as ma’am or sir.
Yessir indeed!
Image source:
https://www.knowable.com/positivity/1812650/25-soldiers-reveal-the-funniest-thing-a-drill-sergeant-ever-said-to-them-again#page=1